Conversations with Lola...

Lola.  One half of my favorite two little people on the planet.  She is a hot mess.  I'm pretty sure that phase was coined just for her.  This same child announced when she was two that she would not be called by her name (it was her middle name), but would be using her first name (by the way, thanks Daddy).  Well, now, she's thinking of changing it again....because "I'm bored with it.  I'm so over it.  So, let's just go to the other one again and see how that feels."  Seriously?  Yep. 

Don't be deceived by the innocence.

Same kid thinking it'd be funny to have a shot of her strangling her brother

If you know me in the real world, then you have been subjected to her funny sayings a while now.  This child came out funny.  I honestly think she cried so much as a baby because she couldn't talk or give her opinion.  Most say she is the spitting image of me.  I don't see it.  She's beautiful.  Strong-willed, tough, big-hearted, truthful, forgetful and fiecely loyal to her twin brother. And the girl has moves...stripper moves, but still.  There was this time in TGIFridays that I and the rest of partrons may never forget.  (think lap dance with no one in the chair.  Hubs almost needed the heimlich).  But the best feature on this kid...her mouth.  Her smart mouth.  If sarcasm is an inherited trait...my apologies to her future husband.  And she will tell it like it is....to anyone, anytime, anywhere.  The number of times me or the Hubs have almost had choked on Dr. Pepper...

For example, this was today...

Lola: Mama, what are you doing?
Me: Trying to figure something out.
Lola: You should Google it.  Google knows everything.  Even more than you, Mom.
Me: Thanks.  I did Google.
Lola:  Why is your face all "frowny"?  I can see those lines on your face that you hate.
Me: Oh, really?
Lola:  You will need shots.
Me: Shots?
Lola: My friend, her Mama gets shots in her face that make her face freeze like this (making a stretched-tight face).
Me: Botox?
Lola:  I don't know what kind of box, but she said it's weird.
Me: Hmmm.
Lola:  And my other friend's mom, she got new boobies.  They are HUGE!  Like this big (stretching her arms out).
Me: How do you know this?
Lola:  We talk about stuff at school.
Me: Oh really....and what do you say about me?
Lola: That you are always kissing my stepdad. And it's a lot.  And it's gross.  And sometimes you lick him.
Me: (my full attention now) WHAT?  I lick him?  What are you talking about?
Lola:  The other night, you were kissing in the kitchen, and you were kissing a lot, and I think I saw your tongue.  Why would you do that?
Me: (stupified) Lo, first of all, I was NOT licking him.  I was just kissing him.  Second, stop sneaking in and staring at us. Third, kissing is special for people who are married.  So, let's don't share that with friends from school....or anyone with school. (Fourth, for me, make sure I'm not "licking" the Hubs in the kitchen anymore, ha!)
Lola:  Sure, Mom, I've got plenty of other stories to share...(as she bounces out of the room)
Me: Lo!  LO!!!  LOOOOO!!!!  <<facepalm>>

1 down, 49+ to go

I never thought I'd get married.  Not again.  No way.  And then this guy came along.

No one makes me laugh as hard.  No one gets me as much.  No one lets me be me without having to apologize.  He lets me rant.  He lets me talk in circles (and follows along).  He thinks I'm enough, not too much, just perfect.  So, for this man, what do you get for an anniversary gift?  We are weird about gifts.  We like to make them or, if buying, it has to mean something.

We all know that there is the traditional wedding anniversary list, right?  1. Paper  2. Cotton. 3. Leather. 10. Tin. 25. Silver. 50. Gold.  Sure, but no one has ever accused me of being traditional.  So, I started researching the Modern List.  1. Plastic/Clock, 2. Cotton/China, 3. Crystal/Glass.  Pick one already.  Because if I'm anything, it's indecisive.  I need things narrowed down, not wide-open.  Close the floodgates already! (by the way, Hubs, if you are reading this, do not, I repeat, DO NOT buy me a clock or plastic tuperware!  Otherwise, you'll end up in the bunks with Bear).

But then I discovered those whole other level of crazy:  The Travel Anniversary List.  Have you heard of this?  1. Airline tickets, 2. Beach Towels, 3. Luggage, 4.Lingerie/Hawaii, 5. Cruise, 6. Hershey, PA/Disney, 7. Santa Fe/Canada, 8. Casino, 9. Mexico, 10. South America 11. New York City, 12. Japan, 13. France, 14. Africa, 15. Switzerland, 16. North Carolina.....wait, what? First of all, who are the people using this list?  Maybe they aren't raising small kids on one salary, a small military salary.  And second, what the hell is with number 16?  North Carolina comes after all of those exotic countries?  Like, congratulations on sixteen wonderful years of marriage!  You get an exciting trip to....NORTH CAROLINA!!!  Now, don't get me wrong, I love me some North Carolina, but after trips to Europe and Asia, what is going on?  My favorite was the 75th anniversary, a cruise.  We'd be between 105-110 years old.  Perfect for another cruise!  Honestly, I think I've seen these people on the cruise advertisements, come to think of it.  Couldn't you see us?  The big wraparound dark glasses, yelling at each other because he can't hear me.  Oh and the swimsuits!  Yikes!  Mental picture over!!!

So, in line at the grocery store checkout, we decided there should be a 2012 version of the list.  A combo list. Some old, some new, some travel, some tech.  That's right.  The list should totally include at least 4-5 apple gadgets.

1. Paper-so many ideas, gift certificates, tickets, or a card, if you want to sleep on the couch.
2. iPod-with his/her favorite songs, of course
3. Beach towels-the beach, an island, the California coast, a Maine B&B
4. DSLR-to capture your children's faces or all the places you'll go together
5. Jewelry-sorry, it's about time, but a nice necklace or earrings would be fantastic
6. Take a class together-cooking, pottery, dancing
7. Big city-Chicago, San Francisco, New York, Boston
8. Bronze/copper
9. MacBook-I so wish this was my year, ha!
10. Hawaii-get remarried, take the kids

15. Europe-time to do it right, no kids, nicer hotels, longer trip, lots of wine

20. Jewelry-time to break out the big bucks Visa

25. Cross-country-take a drive, rent an RV, see it all!

50. Big party!

Now, I'm not big on receiving gifts.  But I love to give them.  I like to find something that is special, means something to those who are getting it, whether it is $5 or $5000.  I have no idea what this weekend will hold.  But I do know that no present could ever top what he gives me every single day: his love, his time, his full attention.  Supposedly, there will be dinner.  Possibly, a movie.  Definitely enough kissing to gross out the kids.  And if it all came down to a Redbox and Chinese takeout (which is how it all started on our first real date) that would be perfect, too.