Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Target is the new Walmart

I don't like tattoos. No hearts. No butterflies.  No...No.  And yes, I'm totally aware that I married a military man, but I managed to find the one UN-inked man left in the USMC.  But to me, tats are tacky.  Again...to me.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  I don't really care what you do to your body, but I am kinda tired of seeing your personal doodle pad.

Let's back up...last week in Target (where else would I be?), I quickly realized I might be the only person in the store without a tattoo.  And y'all, I ain't talking cutsie little butterflies and hearts.  I'm talking ALL OVER tattoos.  I started looking around to make sure I was still in Target...not Walmart.  As I'm strolling through the store making my own personal wish list, I passed several different families each with the MOTHERS covered in tattoos.  Yes, go ahead...call me a conservative prude. You'd be very wrong, but on this one...ewww!

I overheard one mom talking on her cell that she and her daughter...not yet 18...got tats together to celebrate something or other.  Is this what we do now?  Cause I can go ahead and break the news to Lola...it ain't happenin'. Lucky for me I grew up where my grandmother, mama, aunts, etc. weren't walking billboards for drunken dumbass nights.  And I respect them for it.  (could one or more have a tattoo that I don't know about...sure.  But see that's the point...I don't have to SEE it.)

Tattoos used to be private.  Something only those intimately connected to you would know about.  Or men who served our country who inked themselves to seal the bond with their brothers of times spent in training, in war, away from their blood family.  It was a badge of honor.  This new lifestyle is stupid.  I get that it's an art form.  I mean, it takes talent, patience, but a little sadomasochistic mentality in my opinion.  (and if I spelled that wrong, bite me, since you'd probably enjoy it.)

Here are my random thoughts:
Chinese characters:  Do you think it's going to make you fast friends when China takes over?   I'm thinking before I permanently write in another language on myself, I'd do some serious research...just to make sure. 
Boobs: Girls, when you have kids...these things grow and shrink...no way to know what that cute little tattoo will look like afterwards. 
Tramp Stamp: Y'all....it really is.  It's already bad enough to see men checking out women's asses, but stretching to catch a glimpse of some "secret" tattoo right about your butt crack...you are advertising exactly what you are.
Quotes:  I love quotes.  I have a whole book of quotes that I've collected over the years...but these deep thoughts tattooed all over you...anything you could possibly say, no matter how DEEP, is cancelled out by your big flashy billboarding of your body.  Live by example.  It is really true that actions speak louder than words.

And honestly, cause I'm insane, I kept thinking of these men or women with pictures and sayings all over them trying to be intimate with their partner.  I don't know about y'all, but when I get undressed, the last thing I want is him READING.  Unless it's in braille.  (sorry, mama).

But let me leave you with this one thought....if you aren't pissed and have logged off....remember how you look back at old photos like middle school or those 80s pictures of the big hair and crazy clothes.  Remember how you laugh at how ridiculous you look and how far you've come.....Now think of having to wear that outfit EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. of your life because that's what a tattoo is.  It's a moment, a passing feeling that you permanently put on your body. 

I wear my tattoos on my heart.  But again...that's just me.


  1. I don't mind tattoos if they are modest and fairly discreet, but I'll never understand people who get them on their face or across their entire chest for the world to see. You are right--what is that tattoo going to look like when they are in their seventies??? I know a gal who has a tattoo in an unmentionable place, and I really had to scratch my head over that one--pity the guy who marries her!!!

  2. Buahahahaha...... Well damn.... Got one my back with I was 18, two chinese characters on my chest when I was in the Corps (those I wish I had put else where now but back then I was in the mind set that I would never have kids and they rarely are seen), a turtle lower hip and a quote/lyric up my side..... I am the walking person you described here. Except they are only viewable in a bikini. LOL. They are a bit addicting, and I do want to add to my side... :P As for my husband. He is all pure too, not a drop of ink on him.

  3. Menopausal mama: In an unmentionable place? I get scared for a waxing appointment!!! No freaking way I put a needle there!! Oh hell no!

    Jenn...was so hoping you weren't going to see this blog. Ooopsie! And unless you are walking through Target in a bikini...who cares. And if you were...I'd be talking about you tats or not. LOL

  4. ... "personal doodle pad" bahahahaha. that just cracked me up. They don't bother me until I see them... it is one thing to see something on an ankle or where ever, even if it is in a bikini, but what really gives me the eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwey's is to see someone dressed in formal attire sporting a tattoo. I don't know...each to their own I suppose.

    I found out about your blog from ‎Marvelous Mo' and Me.

  5. I found you on Jenn's blogspot. Now following. Come on by and check out my blog. I would appreciate the follow back!


  6. Found you at Military Spouses' Blog Network. I'm an Army spouse and a blogger currently in Germany. I'm following your blog now and would love to have you follow my blog back. When you do, please leave a comment so I'd know you stopped by. Thank you in advance!